Sunday, June 26, 2011

Live And Let Live

So yesterday we took Liam in to be checked out. He's been feeling poorly for a few days, mild fever, etc. Friday night (into Saturday) was a nightmare. He was up every two hours screaming his head off, probably because of the congestion. He bit me four times while trying to nurse. It wasn't a vicious bite, just enough to upset me. I can only gather that he was nursing and couldn't breathe threw his nose so he held the nipple with his teeth and inhaled and . . .whala.

It was so bad that Lou called then on call Doctor. On call said it was probably just eczema and he'll be fine. I laughed when Lou told me that. I knew it was viral, and you can't do anything for viral. Lou still made an appointment and we went in.

We got there about 10 minutes early, there was one family in front of us. Being that sick visits only happen on Saturdays we kept Liam out of the waiting room. The family in front of us checked in and then we did. Then three other families came in.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

After all the OTHER families were brought back, I asked them if the sickest kids were called first. She got a little defensive and said 'no, in order you came, you're next.' I pointed out to her that we were the second family to arrive and the manner I was checked in and she looked upset. They SHOULD of taken you back already! Well, they didn't. So we waited more.

I started reading the message boards. They said how 'safe' vaccines were, helmets for bike riding, and then I read their 'stance' on car seats. The notice was so riddled with typos that I uploaded it to facebook for people to see.

Sadly, parents look to them for advise in this manner. If it wasn't for the Doctor we love, we would probably leave here too.

Finally we were called back just as I was about to nurse Liam. The lady at the desk asked if we wanted a 'private' area to do that. I laughed and said no. There was a family with an infant coming out and the mother had a big armful of formula samples. The infant was screaming. Daddy was swinging it around trying to calm the babe down in the bucket seat. The mom glared at me as I happily asked Liam to nurse.

We walked back to a room and the FEELING of the place was disturbing to me. Normally I feel fine going to this practice but the air felt . . .heavy.

I pushed off the feeling and we waited in the room.

And waited. And waited. And waited.

Liam played with the lights. With the table, under the table, with the chairs, with books, and then he had it. So then we walked the halls. They didn't seem very busy. There were more people there (working or socializing) then patients. There were kids in a room watching TV and playing video games, I gathered they were the nurses kids? I'm not sure. There was also a woman there in plain clothes carrying around her baby. The baby was drinking cows milk from a package. She looked MAYBE a year old and had her ears pierced.

There was one other family in the room and I could hear the little boy screaming. I felt like I was in some. . .disturbing hospital video.

Finally the Doctor came in, after over an hour of us waiting. And she went right to it. Didn't talk to Liam, didn't introduce herself to Liam she just said 'Mom, hold him while I check him out.'

It happened so fast.

I tried to ask her to slow down, to show him what she was doing, and she just kept doing it. I thought maybe because he was on my lap, so I asked if we could do it on the table. Normally our doctor shows him the stethescope and talks to him, this doctor didn't even ADDRESS my son. I was furious. He was so distressed. Then she wanted me to restrain him so she could get a throat culture. She didn't let him calm down she just kept on with her . . ..poor treatment of him. I didn't know if I should yell at her or just do it so it would just be over with.

After the throat culture, she left. And I kept trying to soothe Liam but he wanted Daddy. Daddy didn't hold him down. Daddy didn't let this woman scare him.

I felt like shit. I still do. I gave in and let some dumb fucktard touch my child.

I know I need to learn from it. But I need to forgive myself first.

We're trying to decide how to complain to the office about her treatment.


  1. and then some mainstream medical people wonder why we avoid coming in!

  2. As the primary facilitator of horrible medical things that had to be done to my oldest child (including having to give him white blood cell stimulating shots MYSELF for more days than not out of about 18 months), I can tell you that your reaction is completely normal. Children should be treated like people too. Of course, we got very good at handling both ER docs and various frightened bunnies, I mean medical residents, and since we knew what the doctors were doing, we were able to address the processes with our son.

    This doctor must be new, or must be a student, or something, because most of the actual doctors with whom we have dealt were pretty good about actually making a connection with children and even being honest about something hurting or not hurting. I'm pretty sure that Liam would have been upset and uncomfortable regardless, but the doctor didn't help. Definitely complain.

  3. Thanks Mol. Sad thing? She's NOT new. :( She graduated in 99. (Med)