So, we've made our decision. We're homebirthing this baby. After the horrific birth we had with our Hunter, Hubs and I are just not comfortable birthing Gift at home.
Gift is what we are calling this baby as it was a complete surprise and we found out on Hubs' birthday!
I interviewed a midwife earlier this week, and we're going to have a sit down with her in the near future. We're also going to interview another midwifery practice as well. I'm leaning towards the first midwife as she's hands off, which is what we want.
The only thing I'm having issues with is she doesn't have a back up OB. So that would be on me to find one. I have issue with lying to doctors. I'm pretty blunt and I'm pretty honest. So now I'm faced with, do I go to the trouble of interviewing an OB and saying 'yeah I'm going for an HBAC!' or do I lie and let them believe that I'm going to birth with THEM in a *gasp* hospital. I guess I'm just not comfortable lying to anyone. If you have issue with what I'm doing, guess what? It's not your choice. It's OURS.
Respect it or step off. Those are your choices.
My parents are very uncomfortable with us birthing at home, which I understand. So I'm sitting my Mother down to watch The Business of Being Born. Hopefully she will see my issues with the medical profession, more accurately OB's.
I think OB's have a place in our life. I do. However, they are over used. They are surgeons. If you want a surgical birth, go to them. I DO NOT want a surgical birth so I'm going to a midwife. It's really that simple.
Then I have people ask me about my miscarriages. "Is it SAFE!?"
Why wouldn't it be? If I lost those babies, there was something WRONG. Doesn't mean I didn't love them or want them. Doesn't mean I didn't mourn them, but there was something WRONG. There isn't anything wrong with me!
So, yeah. Interviews.
I'm also trying to decide if I want a doula (along with the midwife) and who I would want as that doula. I know TWO people on the earth I'd FLY OUT to DOULA for me, mostly because I know them and we just click. But I don't know if that's financially effective, for them or us. And they should know who they are. What I'd be looking for is someone who gets our sense of humor, is really knowledgeable in VBAC/HBAC/UBAC and has a soft spoken and comforting positive side to them. I KNOW I'm going to get to the point where I might say 'I can't do this!' And I'm saying it here and NOW! I NEED TO DO THIS. I CAN do this. And I need people around me to support me in that. Support Hubs in that.
So, basically that's where we are. Trying to sort everything out and keep sane.