Fathers Day!

This year I have lots of fun things planned for Fathers day.

A year ago today we woke up not in our own bed, we were in CHOP. Children's Hospital Of Philadelphia. Our son was almost 5 months old and weighed 8lbs and 6oz. We had a horrible stay at CHOP. I watched nurses and Doctors like a hawk afraid that they would forcibly retract my son or give him an immunization.

It was a hard time in our lives, I spent most of the day in tears bawling that we were in CHOP and not home celebrating Lou's first fathers day when we worked SO hard and tried SO hard to get here.

Lou, being the awesome man he is, took it all in stride. We made the best of it and I couldn't love him more for it.

This year is different. Lou's currently at the Philadelphia Comic Convention. I SO wish I was there with him, but it would of cost money so even though we have two three day passes, I gave my pass to Lou's friend (who is also a dad) and they are having a blast down there. Mom for the win I suppose.

So when Lou does come home, we're making stepping stones as a family. Mixing clay and doing hand prints, painting them, all kinds of good stuff :)

Also for the last two weeks Liam and I have been finger painting, so Daddy now gets to choose THREE masterpieces and we're framing them for his office at work!

We might go to the park too!

But the coolest? We're making daddy's favorite for dinner! Home made (gluten free) PIzzas! Yum Yum!!

Suck it last years Fathers day. You're about to be stomped.

Crikey.

So life after the deletion has been interesting. I was contacted by the TODAY show, yes the TODAY show, to come on and be interviewed about the whole patriarchal facebookiness. 

It fell threw, I don't know if they will contact me again, but hey. Talking with the Today show and knowing they were talking to a producer about me. . .that's enough to have me quaking in my boots. 

After that excitement I have really been enjoying our quiet life routine. We are a single car family (for the time being) and it works for us for the time being. Hopefully we'll have a car soon so we can get out and do things, but we've been enjoying all day naked time (him not me!) and panting and such. It's been a great summer so far. 

Now the thing that has been weighing heavily on me. 

I'm pregnant again. 

Stop, don't react. 

Thank you. 

I'm not excited. I can't be. I can't possibly be. I know many people would read that and be shocked. They wouldn't understand. 

This is my ELEVENTH pregnancy. I have one surviving child. Go on and let that sink in. Yes, I am the Michelle Duggar of miscarriage. So it's very hard for me to relax and enjoy or even bond with this pregnancy. I normally never make it past six weeks, I'm almost five weeks pregnant, I tripped a pregnancy test last night, and we used FAM to get pregnant. I can't encourage enough the awesomeness of FAM. And what's nice is there are APS for that. It's so nice. 

To learn more about FAM: http://www.tcoyf.com/

So, I'm kinda keeping this on the down low. Yeah, Facebook knows so how is that 'down low' . .. well, I'm not talking about it. I'm not getting excited for HBAC or shopping around for midwives, I've done that. I know where they are. And if they have openings when we're further on, I'll think about letting my defenses down. 

Hubs and I talked about this today when we were on our way to the market. It's so hard letting yourself believe. It's so hard to say 'yeah, I'm pregnant.' when I may not be in a week. It's so hard to enjoy every second when . . .I could have it ripped away from us in a heartbeat. 

And those of you who don't know, I have been tested for everything under the sun and we are more then likely going to have genetic testing done next. So, yes. I've looked into it or have been tested for it. 

Sorry if that's blunt. But, honestly, it chaps my ass when people ask if I've been tested after NINE miscarriages. I know many are good natured and they are just trying to help. . .but it's a little insulting to me. I guess because I'm such a logical person (at times, I have moments of clarity) logically. . .WHO WOULDN'T get that checked out??? So yeah, THAT's my thought process. I own it. 

But I have been tested for everything but genetic, and we'd like to get hubs tested just for my sanity, because the IVF place we went were just horrible assholes. 

Maybe I'll write about that later. But for now, I just wish the earth aligned and I have a sticky bean. 

Life or something like it. . . ..

Wow. Words can not express the love and support I feel right now. It''s astounding. The article has some nasty comments on it, but to be honest, I laughed them off.

I'm not going to let perfect strangers make me feel bad about me. I KNOW I'm a good person. I know I have good in my heart. I refuse to give them the permission to make me feel inferior.

Today we spent a good part of it outside in the sun. Liam, I'm giving up on calling him 'hunter' as everyone knows who I am now on facebook, had his first taste of watermelon and BOY did he love it! He's currently napping and still has watermelon on his mush. So adorable.

For father's day, we're painting. Or attempting to. Liam isn't keen on paint. So I'm going to try yogurt and food coloring on paper. Lets see if that works. At the moment we're using non toxic paint and while it's cute, he's just not into it.

So painting consists of me plopping Liam IN the paint and him getting up and toddling off to do something more interesting. So most of the works of art consist of a butt print and footprints.

Quite adorable if you ask me. The goal is to frame the paintings for Daddy's office.

Lou's first father's day sucked. That is reality. We spent that whole weekend (and part of the following week) in CHOP being worked up for FTT. So I REALLY want to make this fathers day something to remember!

Reinstated???

So, about 24 hours after I was removed, I was reinstated.

I can't even tell you how awesome that was. I literally screamed and blasted Eminem.

"Guess whos back? Back again. . .Lynnie's back    . . . . .tell a friend...."

Yes, I was that happy.

I got conflicting answers from facebook, totally not confused by it to be honest. Although, I SHOULD be.

At 6pm I received this email:

Hi Lynn,

I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced. Your account was disabled in error. Your account has been reactivated and you will now be able to log in.

Thanks for contacting Facebook,

Astrid
User Operations
Facebook


I was BOUNCING off the walls. I signed into facbook and I was hit with this:

One of Your Photos Was Removed

One of your photos was recently removed because it was found to violate Facebook policies. As a reminder, the following types of photos are not permitted:

* Content that is pornographic or contains nudity, or is inappropriately sexual
* Attacks on an individual or a group of people
* Depictions of self harm, excessive violence or drug use

Please keep this in mind before uploading new photos.

[ ] I understand I should not upload photos that violate Facebook’s policies.

[Confirm]

I tried to access my account without clicking that, but I couldn't. So I bit the bullet and checked it. Here's the thing. I didn't VIOLATE anything. I posted a photo of me where I can HARDLY be seen. 


So I sat and thought about it, I mean,, I'm happy to be back.  But what about those women who fear this on a daily basis. What about them? This isn't fair. Not at all. 


A friend of mine mention that a class action suit or something would get them to listen. But I don't even know where to begin. How to go about doing that. Anything! 


I guess what I'm saying is, I want to DO something, but quite honestly I'm not sure what I can do. I know there are women who are back after being deleted. I know there are women out there that have NEVER been back. . . ..


And facebook, while they may or may not be directly responsible for this, is encouraging this behavior. 


Lets look at what logically could be happening here.


Option 1:
There are a group of people (or a singular person) organizing this . . . .attack on nursing mothers and peaceful parents. Someone in this group gets a hold of a photo, sends it around to be flagged in a matter of hours that person would be flagged and banned for multiple reports. 


Facebook gets those multiple reports and without reviewing the ip's or the offensive picture/person/saying they ban the person who the reports are against. 


Option2: 
There is ONE person on everyones friends list who reports ONE thing. 


Facebook gets that ONE report and someone sees it. That person thinks breastfeeding is obscene and they remove the person for violating the tos. 


Option 3: 
There is a bot that goes around looking for photos with certain tag words. Those bots just remove photos and people without prejudice. 


Option 4: 
We all took the red pill, it doesn't matter. 


In all the options, facebook is encouraging this behavior.. . .. well with the exception of the red pill, we made that decision . . .or the Wachowski Brothers made it for us. 


What was my point? OH! Right. Facebook is reinforcing the behavior of these people (because I really think what is happening is more of a collective effort by some very unhappy people) by doing what they want. 


What's the saying? "Give a mouse a piece of cookie and they'll ask for some milk?"


What facebook needs to do is stick to it's policy. As long as there is no nipple showing it's fine. I honestly don't care that there are pictures of women on facebook scantily clad. What bothers me is that nursing women are held to a different standard then those photos. 


If those scantily clad women are following the photo guidelines, I'm fine with it. But don't hold me and other nursing mothers to a different standard. 


That's what pisses me off. 

Interview

Today I was interviewed for the Philadelphia Inquirer. The reporter was all kinds of awesome (she drove a hybrid and her kids were in britax boosters!!!)

We talked about things, what happened, why I think it happened and so forth.

I had a great time with her, she was way cool and I learned things too!! I had a limited idea where 'facebook' came from but I had no idea that it was a sexual tool for nerds.

She explained to me that they had photos of the girls and rated them on hotness! No WONDER they have such issue with breastfeeding.

I've read that some men see their wives differently after childbirth and nursing. So, I guess this makes sense to me too.

I'd like to also point out, I don't think this was a one off report. I honestly and truly believe that there is a group of people out there that flag things. Pages. People. Photos. For what ever reason, I believe they do this. IT has to be that. I haven't had massive amounts of flags. I haven't been warned for photos before!

This is just insane to me!

Removed.

Wow, I don't even know where to begin.

I guess I'll start with my day today. We took our son to Smith Memorial Playground.  On the way I was posting from my phone. I had posted some photos from our garden, including some very mouthwatering pictures of our strawberries. We were listening to Freebird.

I got a warning from Facebook telling me a photo I uploaded had violated the terms of service (or use) and it was flagged inappropriate and removed. I chuckled. I knew what photo it was. It's this one. I had shared it on the wall of another mama to be used in this article.

I have NO doubt that is the photo that did this.

On our way home my phone was silent. Which is unusual for me. I get notifications when people reply to me, or message me, or post on my wall, and I got nothing. I also remember checking my live feed and it wasn't updating.

After the park we headed to the Market and did some shopping and came home. I updated my status to: "Mango Salsa Chicken!" as it was what I was cooking for dinner. It never posted. Then I got a text message from a friend and I jumped on to confirm what her message said. . .My facebook had been deleted.

THIS IS INSANE!

I mean, I know this kind of thing happens to people all the time, but to me? I'm not anyone major, I'm just . .. me. Sarcastic and fiercely loyal me.

My husband, the ever optimistic person he is, said it had to be a glitch. So I went to facebook and signed in. . and I was told my account had been suspended.

I laughed.

No, I'm serious. I laughed. I'm not sure what exactly I laughed about. . .the absurdity of it all . . .maybe.

I'll expand on that:

I find it absurd that someone or a group of people flagged that photo enough to have me suspended. I find it absurd that people are SO threatened by a photo of a breastfeeding mother that they have to go to those lengths. I feel sad for them, I really and truly do. That they have nothing better to do then flag photos, groups, people. . .

A dear friend, Guggie Daily made a page on facebook to reinstate me. I don't know WHAT this page will accomplish, but the act in it of it's self brought tears to my eyes. Then, the flood of support. People wrote really awesome things on that wall and I just bawled. So, thank you.

I contacted the woman who interviewed me for a milksharing story back in November. I don't know if she would be interested, but since she did a milksharing story, I figured. . .hey. . .couldn't hurt you know?

The main thing is. . .breastfeeding isn't obscene. I understand there are women who can't breastfeed, there are women who choose not to breastfeed and there are people who think it's just wrong or disgusting. While I don't agree with those opinions, I respect their rights to have them. (to be perfectly clear, those opinions are wrong!)

So here I am. I've played some Left 4 Dead and I made some rockin' gluten free banana bread. I had awesome mango salsa chicken for dinner and I had an awesome night with my family!

I'm not mad. I'm shocked! I'm laughing. I am frustrated at the opinions of some, for sure! But, I have to keep telling myself: "they think this because of something that happened to them." So. . .I pity them.

I'll be updating my blog lots! So. . ..here we go! Lets see if Facebook reinstates me, eh?

Pissed Off

One of the things about me you should know: When I get pissed off enough, I let EVERYONE know about it. I guess it goes back to my upbringing where I was taught I should worry more about others feelings. I should make sure they are comfortable or cared for before myself.

Well, fuck that.

I have been chewed out for the last time. I believe in human rights. I believe that babies shouldn't be circumcised. I believe the owner of said body part should have a say. I do NOT believe that religion should dictate this. I believe every baby has the right to breastmilk. I believe that the CHILD should choose when to wean. It is not my choice. I believe that GLBT people deserve equal rights. To be able to marry, have children. I believe that we all should have free EVIDENCE BASED healthcare.

That being said, I have alienated myself from some of my family and friends. They think my 'extreme' views are wrong. They think that I'm 'overboard' or that I should 'get over it.'

They don't want to be part of my life if this is my life.

While I hate saying this. . . .if you feel that way, go. I'm not here to beg you to stay. We can agree to disagree, that I can agree on. But don't think I'm going to be okay with people thinking I'm a loon behind my back.

My mother is still telling me about how 'inapropriate' it was for me to breastfeed my son at his first birthday party. He was over stimulated and wild. He was hungry. And he wanted me. But it's wrong.

I'm over it! I'm over having to put up with jokes. I'm over having to defend myself. I'm over all of it.